Not recommended for writers…

On my “Join the Conversation” web page, you will find a list of useful websites. I’ve debated with myself recently about including on that page some that I can’t recommended. For the moment, in lieu of doing that, I offer this post. I name only a few names, but only because there are generic organizations writers should avoid. (Consider this post an addendum to my little writing course “Writing Fiction,” which contains a lot of advice about this writing business and is available as a free PDF download—see the “Free Stuff & Contests” web page.) Here goes:

Literary agencies. Stay away from them. The very few helpful and open-minded agents who remain aren’t worth the risk of subjecting yourself to the bad ones who are only gatekeepers (who generally know nothing about writing!) to big publishing conglomerates (the Big Five, soon to be Four) that still exist in the twentieth century, if not the nineteenth. Most literary agents are like real estate agents and sales people—they’re scurrilous pariahs only interested in getting their commissions. I have yet to meet one or an agency that doesn’t fit this stereotype. I’m sure there are some. (I’m just unlucky, I guess.)

Traditional publishers. There are three strikes against them, so they’re out: First, they take the lion’s share of royalties even though you, the writer, do most of the work. Second, you no longer get many perks from them. You say, “They get my book into bookstores and help pay for marketing.” No and nada! Here’s the main problem besides the royalty issue: They’ve all started to use formatting software to cut costs. They say, “It’s still Ingram.” I say, “Sorry, I can use formatting software too—Draft2Digital, Smashwords, or Lightning Source.” The latter is basically what most traditional publishers now use, but you will find that all software formatting packages need more TLC than traditional publishers are willing to give them. It’s software, after all, without humans in the loop, unless you do it yourself, or pay an independent and trusted formatter to do it for you. And forget about Amazon! If you insist on getting a .mobi ebook file, both Draft2Digital and Smashwords’ formatting software can produce that.

So why did I use Black Opal Books and Penmore Press? A small, independent press often doesn’t require an agent, using an acquisitions editor instead, and it does provide more TLC for their authors, right? At the time I submitted manuscripts to those two traditional publishers, they both used old-style Ingram. They no longer do. Besides, Black Opal was bought out by an incompetent bunch; and Penmore decided I should pay some upfront costs, after saddling me with an editor at the last moment who changed my content and voice in the previous book. They’re still on my list of useful websites, but only because I know some authors who became friends but have stuck with them—I don’t want to diss those authors or their books, only the changes made by those publishers.

PODs. First, they’re dinosaurs, although Lightning Source has joined their ranks. Amazon’s Create Space has become part of KDP, but I’m boycotting Amazon in general and now refuse to recommend either Amazon’s ebook publishing or trade paperback publishing. Some of that old POD guard still remains too, but they’ve been swallowed up. You’ll see their full page ads in the NY Times “Book Review” insert—those PODs charge authors a lot to get a little thumbnail cover image in that insert that’s only good for papering the bottom of your bird cage.

I had experience with two, Xlibris and Infinity. For the first, I bit on a costly marketing offer (my first book, Full Medical, 2006), and they subsequently spammed the entire world so nobody would want to buy the book. Infinity was okay, and they came up with some good covers, but more modern PODs are a lot more efficient. (If you’re self-publishing, you’re at least trying to avoid that up to two years’ delay from manuscript acceptance to published book of traditional publishers!)

And by all means, avoid outfits like the new POD, All Seasons Press. It’s 1000 times worse than any Big Five publisher or the old PODs, and is just a haven for Trumpers telling lies—unless you’re a Trumper who wants to tell lies, of course! And also stay away from all those Christian publishers you see advertised everywhere—your book will most likely end up in purgatory, if not hell! That’s especially true for those end-of-days publishers, like the one who published that murdering Idaho SOB who killed his two stepchildren; he claimed they were possessed. Of course, if you’re a murdering SOB posing as a Christian, maybe some of these PODs are your best choice?

Tech publishers. Are you self-publishing using some tech giant—Amazon, Apple, Kobo, etc.? Don’t be stupid! Even traditional publishers are smart enough to use distributors so as not to put all their eggs in one or a few baskets. In particular, Draft2Digital and Smashwords mentioned above will not only sell your ebooks, they’ll distribute them to other ebook retailers. The more retailers that sell your ebook, the better off you are…and you will be happier not having to deal with them directly! I’d especially avoid Amazon and Apple.

Kirkus and other services that charge you a bundle for a review. Big Five publishers keep them in business, but they’ll charge self-published authors the same exorbitant prices! (My whole book launch campaign costs less than a Kirkus review!) Also, avoid those outfits that will buy up to fifty copies of your book to put it among the Amazon “bestsellers” for a day or two…and maybe get you a few reviews. They’re a complete waste of money and make you into an unethical author…or at least a gullible one!

Almost any “marketing guru” should be avoided. Especially those who charge you lots with the promise of great results. (I won’t mention some famous names, and some of them are even sleazy authors looking to augment their meager royalties!) If you want to experiment with high-priced Amazon marketing, do it directly and cut out the middlemen (you’ll regret using Amazon marketing, though). Same for paying for ads on Facebook and Twitter and most other social media sites.

“Master” classes. I see them advertised mostly on Facebook—Baldacci, Patterson, etc., tired, old, formulaic authors out to bilk gullible newbies. You’ll learn a lot more by reading good books in your genre(s) to learn the techniques of good storytelling (don’t use “NY Times bestseller” as your criterion for good, though—those are Big Five books written by tired, old, formulaic authors!).

That’s my list of people, organizations, and sites I do not recommend. Your list might be different. And mine might change tomorrow, probably requiring augmentation. (For more about recommended and not recommended tactics for authors, see my little course on “Writing Fiction.” The title is a bit misleading; it’s mostly about what to do after finishing your manuscript! Of course, that’s important to know!)

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Comments are always welcome.

Leonardo and the Quantum Code. You saw the cover reveal last week (also at left). Here’s the summary of this new novel in the “Esther Brookstone Art Detective” series: Trouble again finds Esther Brookstone on her home turf. An old friend from her Oxford days is developing encoding and decoding algorithms that involve entangled quantum states and quantum computers, all motivated by some of Leonardo Da Vinci’s ideas found in a newly discovered notebook of the artist. His project is financed by MI5, but both the Americans and Russians want his results…and so does a mysterious stranger. Cloak-and-dagger suspense abound in this fifth novel of the series. Coming soon!

Around the world and to the stars! In libris libertas!

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