Movie Reviews #76…

Spiderman: Far From Home. John Watts, director. Fair warning to fans of the Marvel Universe: About the only good thing I can say about this movie is found in the few good glimpses I saw of Prague, a European capital I haven’t been to yet. Even for that, I would have been better off buying a Frommer’s tour guide.

The title comes from Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s visits to Venice, Prague, and London with his high school science group. I never understood how that came about, but I was ready to flee from the beginning. The professors are doofuses (or is that doofusi?), and the classmates are ignoramuses (same comment), except for MJ and Parker. Huh? These are STEM students? Parker also seems like a hapless nerd, even as Spider-Man–smitten by MJ and incapable of expressing it. Hey, you’re Spider-Man! No one can compete with you, so what’s your problem?

Yeah, something bad Marvel/Disney screenwriters conjured up called “the blip” changed the whole Marvel Universe of superheroes. In other words, Disney managed to destroy it with a do-over/sequel to End Game that just doesn’t work, creating a real Avengers’ end game. They should have stopped while they were ahead. I really hope this bombs to teach them a lesson!

Jake Gyllenhaal was terrible as Beck/Mysterio; likewise Marisa Tomei as Aunt May (she’s a young hotty now…instead of an old woman because of the blip, I think—not very clear). Samuel L. Jackson was old reliable as Nick Fury. Maybe he could have saved the show if they’d given him more screen time; he brought some maturity to the screen at least instead of banal pandering to teenagers.

A mediocre and illogical script added to this unmitigated disaster. Disney/Marvel should be ashamed. Definitely the worst of all the Spider-Man movies; even that animated Spider-Verse chaos beats it. And I yearn for #2 in the series.

I only recommend this for people addicted to Marvel and yearning for another fix, or tweens/teens who play terribly incoherent and infantile videogames in hypnotic states. How I wish I’d kept my old comics! I could fall back on them now and wipe this disaster from my mind. I walked out of this one stunned with how bad it is. Stan Lee’s probably turning over in his grave!

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Comments are always welcome.

The Last Humans. “Life’s nice little moments sometimes follow bad ones…or vice versa. Does it even out? Probably not, considering my present situation. Why did I survive?” Ex-USN Search and Rescue and current LA County Sheriff’s Department diver goes on a forensics dive off SoCal shores and surfaces to find herself in a post-apocalyptic world. A bioengineered and airborne contagion has been delivered to the West Coast and will be carried around the world, killing billions. Her adventures trying to survive in this new world will make you ask, “Could this really happen?” Published by Black Opal Books, this post-apocalyptic thriller is available in ebook and print format from Amazon and as an ebook version from Smashwords and its affiliated retailers (iBooks, B&N, Kobo, etc.) Also available from the publisher or your local bookstore (if they don’t have it, ask for it). A sequel is coming.

Around the world and to the stars! In libris libertas!

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