Royals…
Did you watch Prince Philip’s funeral procession and ceremony last Saturday? I didn’t. I was never into a lot of pomp and circumstance for any reason. First, in my first three years of high school, I had to play trombone in Elgar’s march of that name far too many times, sometimes in 100 degree heat. (At my own graduation, I wore Bermudas and sandals under that damn toga!) Second, I’d seen too many little girls want to be princesses (that song in Frozen was super-annoying, but not quite as much as the Titanic song, both of them repeated over and over again ad nauseum!). Third, how that old British empire ruled by their royals exploited their colonies, turning their citizens into second-class subjects, was unconscionable and unforgivable (the American and Irish colonies are a bit close to home, of course), and many current problems around the planet can be traced to that. I hasten to write that’s all more British government, a so-called democratic monarchy.
Fact is, I love the British people. Binge-reading British-style mysteries in la grande dame Agatha Christie’s tradition has made the Covid-19 pandemic more tolerable for me too. Some PBS shows from Britain also offer great entertainment for me—I’m a fan of “Shakespeare and Hathaway” (but not of “Downton Abbey”). I read all of the James Bond books from Ian Fleming long before that movie franchise began. (The earlier movies were better because they followed the books more closely. It’s gone off track.) British actors are among my favorites. I just don’t understand the Brits’ obsession and infatuation with their royals…and even less Americans’. And the royals’ “work” is to move around the kingdom to add sparkle to public events? C’mon!
While the British royals might seem closer to Americans (Lord knows why, because we booted mad King George’s army out in the American Revolution), my problem is with royals in general, and for much the same reasons—they represent an anachronistic age that’s entirely irrelevant if not detrimental in the 21st century, a lot of pomp and circumstance signifying nothing…or worse. I suppose Philip was a decent guy most of the time, and I mourn his passing in that sense, but only in that sense. He wasn’t a Bernie Madoff, after all, nor an Idi Amin. He looked like a guy I could sit down with at a pub and enjoy a pint. Of course, he never would invite me, out of propriety. I’m too low class and half-Irish besides.
As a result of my anti-royal bias, I don’t have many in my books! Prince Harry has a cameo in The Golden Years of Virginia Morgan and several royals (not Brits) appear in Aristocrats and Assassins (#4 in the “Detectives Chen and Castilblanco” series). A prince is a main character in Rogue Planet, a story that takes place in the far future. #4 in the “Esther Brookstone Art Detective” series, Palettes, Patriots, and Prats, will have a duke in a supporting role. That’s about it. And most of these stories portray royals as good persons trapped in a bad lifestyle they’d rather not have to live.
You see, I also feel sorry for royals. They can’t be scientists, engineers, bankers, politicians, and so forth now even if they wanted to live normal lives. They are mere ornaments on the Christmas tree of nostalgia. Some of them might achieve greatness doing other things, but they’re basically stuck in their royal lives with all the pomp and circumstance. They’ll never feel hungry or be without safe lodging. In general, they’ll only theoretically know the struggles of ordinary folks at best. Many can never know true love either, although Harry might be an exception, and old Elizabeth seemed rather fond of her old consort.
But I feel even sorrier for those people who would like to live the life of a royal. They’re much better off being what they are because of the reasons already enumerated.
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Comments are always welcome!
The “Esther Brookstone Art Detective” series. In a way, these three novels (soon to be four) are a nostalgic bow to my years as a young reader. The novels also pay homage to la grande dame of mystery, Agatha Christie, and her two famous sleuths, Miss Marple (Esther’s role) and Hercule Poirot (Esther’s paramour Bastiann van Coevorden’s role). I often wondered those many years ago why Christie never allowed her two sleuths to solve a crime together. Of course, Esther and Bastiann are very much twenty-first century characters, so I have added a lot of thrills and suspense to the mystery. Available wherever quality ebooks are sold. Print versions can be ordered for you by your favorite bookstore, or they can be found on Amazon.
Around the world and to the stars! In libris libertas!
