Off-Beat Recipes #1…
[Note: I come up with these occasionally. Just thought I’d share. Maybe recipes for the Super Bowl? Or, something to eat when trapped inside by a blizzard? I take no responsibility for medical fallout. You are what you eat…and drink….]
Baloney Quesadillas. Ingredients: Flatbread, cheese and baloney slices, and salsa. Layer slices of baloney and American cheese onto half a flatbread (ham and brie can be used by sophisticates). Spoon on salsa liberally. Fold the flat bread over and heat in the oven for 30 seconds. Serves one. Enjoy.
Kermit’s Revenge. Ingredients: Fresh spinach, Kiwi slices, a few jalapeños, cilantro, lime, two glasses of green tea, tabasco sauce, and a glass containing two fingers of Jameson, neat. Lightly steam the spinach and put it in a blender. Add the Kiwi slices, cilantro, jalapeños, the juice of half the lime, green tea, and tabasco sauce. Blend together. Serve blender contents to your wife or girlfriend who’s trying to get you to eat healthy. You drink the Jameson.
Humble Pie. Ingredients: Apple sauce, hamburger buns, Reddi-Wip, and cinnamon and sugar (optional). Pour half the can or jar of apple sauce onto each large hamburger bun. Add cinnamon and a bit more sugar. Add top of bun. Sprinkle powdered sugar on the top and microwave for thirty seconds (a wee bit more if the applesauce was cold). Add Reddi-Wip. Take the Chevy to the levee and eat your pie—or share with your companion.
Suicide Bomber. Ingredients: Cola (Coke, Pepsi, RC Cola—who cares?), rum, vodka, gin, pepper, tabasco sauce, and tomato juice. Mix to taste (if you drink enough, you can’t follow this direction). Toast Charlie Hebdo. [I usually don’t make fun of terrorism…and never of the Prophet. I came up with this out of desperation when my ex-physics student lost his father in a 1985 M-19 attack one terrible day in Bogotá. There might have been other hard liquor ingredients, like aguardiente. Experiment.]
And so it goes….
