Joe in the mornings…

I’m not just talking about my two mugs of rich, Colombian coffee, but those are certainly necessary for my writing.  I’m also talking about Joe Konrath’s blog.  Long the top link in my useful links for writers and readers (see my “Join the Conversation” webpage)—it’s called “A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing”—it features old Joe and frequent contributor Barry Eisler, often knocking the Big Five for hanging around in their traditional paradigm and attacking those Big Five authors like Patterson who ineptly try to mount defenses of the same.  This is a wonderful place to lurk…and comment too, if you have something to say (your comment will often be lost because the threads become long, but Joe, like me, often sneaks in a comment or two to the comments).  This blog is good for readers too, those who want to know what the Amazon v. Hachette and other skirmishes pitting indie v. Big Five are all about.

I was forced to become just a lurker when Joe took off the name/URL(my website) option.  This happened so often on other blogs using Joe’s same blog service, not WordPress, that I now believe it was an error that Joe’s service made, and nothing intentionally done by Joe.  So I started commenting again, but my comments, as on most blogs and in most discussion groups, are limited.  I’m a shy guy and prefer to lurk (I’m talking about the internet here, folks, so no raised eyebrows, please).  Where I bombard you with my op-eds (my reactions to current news items) as much as I write about the business of writing, Joe’s topics are exclusive to the latter.  Same style, though—acerbic and cynical.  This blog is fun even for old hands who’ve been writing for a while and also readers, but it’s a must for authors starting out.

To encourage you to sample Joe in the mornings (you really don’t have to do it that often, unless you want to be the first to comment, a narcissistic desire I fail to comprehend), I’m summarizing one of Joe’s lists here (he likes lists more than me) where he attacks the problem of flat (or non-existent?) sales.  Not content with just the list, I’ve commented on each item and how it relates to my own writing business.  Authors might have other experiences.  A casual reader might have a good laugh and wonder, “Geez, this writing business is complicated.  I thought anyone can write a book these days and become rich, maybe even get a movie contract.”  In a way, I’m trying to banish that idea that “anyone can write a book,” or, at least, qualify that by adding, “…but not everyone should.”

Without further ado, here’s Joe’s list and my comments:

Write more.  I can’t.  My muses (aka banshees with tasers) zap me all the time because they know I have the opposite of writer’s block.  I have lists of story ideas, potential characters, and what-ifs, enough to keep me going for a long time.  But Joe’s advice is good.  If you’re going to stop with that first book, pat yourself on the back, and expect to get rich, you don’t belong in the business.  (See “Don’t Quit” below.)

Advertise.  I can’t—at least, not as much as I want to.  Sales are flat and I need them to pay costs.  It’s a vicious circle.  (Lots of them in this business.)  Readers can help by buying my books.  By the way, lending is enabled on my KDP Select books—I’ll have to check the ones that aren’t KDP Select.  For the former, lending has to be enabled, because Amazon’s Prime and Unlimited program are lending programs!  You’re still a valued reader, if you beg, borrow, or steal one of my books and read it.  You’re my advertiser too, if you tell your friends about me or lend them my book.  Advertising where dollars are spent by me seems to bring more people to the website than create readers for my books, but the metrics for measuring that are of dubious value.

Joe recommends the online websites BookBub, BookSends, and EbookBooster.  They’re on my extensive blacklist of exploitive websites because they create another vicious circle for authors: you can’t play there unless you have N Amazon 4- or 5-star reviews (N is usually 5 or 10, but I’ve seen N as high as 25) and/or offer your ebook for free.  Do they actually believe that a large N guarantees a quality book?  I sure haven’t seen that correlation!  Many sites are like this, though, including review sites.  Avoid them like the plague, unless you feel as rich as Bill Gates.

Sales.  Joe recommends Kindle Countdowns (temporary sales) and free periods (give-aways).  I have to try the former (look for them in “News and Notices from the Writing Trenches”).  I’ve stopped doing the latter.  In the beginning, ebook authors had thousands of downloads when they made a free promo.  Now they’re down to a trickle.  Not recommended.  And, don’t you value your writing more than that?

Increase prices.  Seems contradictory, but Joe is recommending the author try the KDP Pricing Support Beta.  I have yet to try it, but most of my ebooks are priced like Joe’s, so I’m not holding my breath.  The sweet spot is $2.99 to $3.99; the minimum is needed to get the 70% Amazon royalty while the maximum should be used for long books, like sci-fi (or mimicking Tolstoy).  I converge on those values over time, following the New Car Pricing Model (this year’s new model is more expensive than last’s).

Collaborate.  Joe’s suggestion is to co-author an ebook with someone so that your fans become her fans, and vice versa.  I think that’s difficult—writers tend to be loners, not team players, even when the team is only two.  Bundling your novel with someone else’s (maybe many others) might be easier and just as effective.  Writing a short story for an anthology helps get your name out too—hopefully some of the other authors’ good karma rubs off on you.

Try a new genre.  This probably should be coupled with a new pen name (see below).  I’d ask the question, though: are your writing for a particular market?  Or, are you writing because you love to read and write stories in your genre(s)?  If your answers are yes and no, respectively, go write ad copy or Hallmark card messages.  You shouldn’t be writing fiction.

Change covers and book descriptions.  Covers and titles are important.  Book blurbs are too, and they’re easier to change.  If you do them well on first release, though, why change?  Covers do and should cost you money, but an initial outlay for a good cover should be enough.  (Caveat emptor: ebook covers are different than pbook covers.  Understand the difference.)

Try other retail outlets.  I have.  Smashwords and its new lending programs haven’t done much for me.  Maybe that’s associated with the fall from grace of the Nook, and B&N in general.  But Smashwords distributes to many online retailers, so they’re something to think about.  Newbies should stick with Amazon at first, and especially KDP Select.

More formats.  Audio?  Pbooks?  Foreign languages?  All costly, especially audio (don’t make the mistake of reading aloud your own novel—James Earl Jones is highly recommended).

Billboards.  Joe’s terminology.  He means social media, your website, and your newsletter about what’s coming.  (This is often called the “author’s platform.”)  My newsletter, “News and Notices from the Writing Trenches,” contains news on what’s happening with my ebooks and more, and it appears right here in this blog.  I refuse to spam you and fill up your email bin—you probably get enough of that as it is (I certainly do).

Pre-orders.  New Amazon feature.  I have yet to try it.  Looks interesting.  I’m looking for comments from authors who have tried it and can tell me if it does any good.  (You can comment to this post.)

Pen names.  See “Try a new genre.”  You might want to couple genre changes with a new pen name.  (If you’re writing “end-of-days” Christian lit and want to try erotica, for example, I’d advise this.  Otherwise, your PR and marketing will be an interesting experience.)

Joe also says what NOT to do to increase book sales:

Don’t whine in public.  Depends on your definition of “whining,” I guess.  Real whining is non-productive and blaming everyone else for your problems isn’t recommended either—for your writing or anything else.  I write my blog posts with lots of cynicism (see the last point above, for example).  So do Joe and Barry.  Is that whining?  Both Joe and I emphasize that success in writing is quite a bit like winning the lottery.  He plays that lottery a lot and has won; I play a lot and still haven’t won.  That’s not whining.  That’s being a realist—not everyone can win the lottery.  Should you stop if things don’t go well?  See the last point.

Don’t spam.  I go out of my way not to.  When I first became serious about entertaining readers with my first novel, I went with Xlibris and one of their PR and marketing packages.  The latter reduced to spamming the entire internet universe.  In particular, I don’t think it entertained readers, or anyone else.  Big mistake on my part!  Don’t you make it.  (From a personal POV, if I get one notice about your book, that’s enough.  Subsequent notices are deleted and duly forgotten.)

Don’t quit.  Joe actually qualifies this.  So will I.  If you love to write and entertain your readers, you’ll stick with it.  You’ll write the next book, and the next, etc.  Otherwise, if you want just to add to the flood of people with one book that only adds to an already nearly infinite sea of noise, don’t even start.  That’s about as welcome as a fart in crowded elevator.  Now that elevator is very crowded: a recent survey estimated that a new book on Amazon appears every five minutes!  So don’t make my life miserable by adding more noise to the system.  When I started, I already had five books in mind, and now I’m up to sixteen.  You might say I’m a glutton for punishment aka masochist.  I say that I’m having a lot of fun, and the idea that I can entertain a few readers along the way is a lot of cream cheese icing on the cake.  I won’t stop because I can’t.  I’m addicted.  (And don’t forget those muses aka banshees with tasers.)  If you aren’t addicted to writing, please don’t mess things up for those who are!

So that’s your cup o’ joe for the day.  [Note: Sorry, Joe, I didn’t ask for your permission to reproduce your list.  I really have no idea how to contact you and certainly don’t want to spam you—or anyone.  This is more about my reaction to your list anyway.]

In libris libertas….

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